According to Hofmann: No pants for the working man
For those working from home and those who hate wearing work-appropriate pants or wearing pants at all, there鈥檚 hope for you in this post or pre-post or post-pre-post-COVID-19 world.
It seems that a Finnish fashion retailer has created a line of what鈥檚 classified as half-formal outfits that feature acceptable clothing for office work from the waist up, and what鈥檚 considered to be home attire from the waist down.
That, of course, is for those working at home and taking part in video conferences with your bosses and coworkers as they can see you only from your chest up to your head depending on how far you sit away from the camera.
Let鈥檚 be honest, the only reason they decided to do a video conference is so they can finally look in your home to identify all the office items you鈥檝e stolen over the years.
The fashion retailer, Prisma, released a YouTube video showing the ad for this new line of clothing named Telcollection. It shows models wearing dress shirts and jackets that you would see in the workplace and below those clothes, well, it鈥檚 pretty much boxer shorts or spandex pants.
Normally when I see something that stupid, I have to find the price tag on such an outfit because if it鈥檚 over $15, it deserves to be ruthlessly mocked, then tarred and feathered in the public square, which is now social media.
I tried navigating Prisma鈥檚 website to find the prices for the clothing line, but seeing that everything on the website is in Finnish, the only thing I achieved was accidentally purchasing a cruise ship that鈥檚 set to sail out of Finland next month.
But if the price tag for the Telcollection is anything like America鈥檚 prices for high-concept, low-inspirational fashion, it鈥檚 probably as much as a cruise ship or whatever adds up to 49 monthly payments of 439,520 euros.
Now, if I haven鈥檛 made it clear thus far, I think this fashion line is a really stupid idea for a number of reasons, which is a multiple of one in this case.
First, it doesn鈥檛 matter if you buy special boxer shorts because you鈥檙e on a video call where nobody can see below your waist anyway. So, really, who are you trying to impress?
When I鈥檓 on a video conference call for work or taking part in a video appointment to show my doctor a new 鈥渦nexplained鈥� rash, I鈥檓 normally wearing one of my few non-Ronnie James Dio t-shirts over that day鈥檚 mumu.
If you鈥檝e never done a work-from-home-mumu day, do yourself a favor and try it!
But all seriousness aside, they say the mother of invention is necessity and the baddest mother of invention is John Shaft.
What that means is companies need to stop worrying about inventing clothing because people are going to wear whatever they can find and for whatever reason鈥揅hristopher Columbus Mumu Day is a perfect example.
The focus from clothing companies should rather be on eliminating domestic distractions and disasters experienced by the work-from-home employee.
For instance, when I鈥檓 involved in a video conference, a number of things are normally happening in the background or in the foreground like the dog barking, my mom walking behind me while signing Peter, Paul and Mary songs over and over, and my kid coming to my side to whisper in my ear that she鈥檚 hungry or she solved the age-old debate of nature versus nurture鈥檚 influence on a human being鈥檚 personality.
What I鈥檓 trying to say is we need sound-activated shock collars around the perimeter of our computers and/or phones while participating in a video conference or whenever family members or pets distract us from our daily work.
Don鈥檛 get me wrong. The shock collars will not be used to neither kill nor even knock out the wearer, but as a friendly, stinging reminder to not misbehave in the hopes that some lessons need to be learned and most rules need to be followed.
That鈥檚 the reason why my bosses now have me wearing such a prototype shock collar after a video conference where they spotted various staplers and paper clips that 鈥渕ysteriously鈥� vanished from the newsroom.
I knew I should have hidden them in the mumu.
According to Hofmann is written by staff reporter Mark Hofmann of Rostraver Township. He co-hosts the 鈥淟ocally Yours鈥� radio show on WMBS 590 AM every Friday. His book, 鈥淪tupid Brain,鈥� is available on Amazon.com.