According to Hofmann: All I ‘Once’ for Christmas
Because all my news about Texas comes from Australian media, 鈥淭he West Australian鈥� shared a story about a bar in Texas that had posted a sign on their jukebox that reads:
鈥淢ARIAH CAREY鈥橲 ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS WILL BE SKIPPED IF PLAYED BEFORE DEC. 1. AFTER DEC 1 THE SONG IS ONLY ALLOWED ONE TIME A NIGHT鈥�
The words were all in capital letters because everything is big in Texas, according to the Aussies.
Anyway, if you鈥檙e living under a rock or constantly go around with your fingers plugged into your ears while yelling 鈥淔a-la-la-la-la-laaa-la-la-la-la,鈥� you are probably unaware that the 1994 song 鈥淎ll I Want for Christmas鈥� gained something of Christmas-classic status last year with the most single-day streams on Spotify at 17.223 million streams.
Even before that, the song was well-placed in the rotation of endless Christmas music that some radio stations start playing in, oh, mid-October. They take a break on Oct. 31. to play 鈥淭hriller鈥� and 鈥淭he Monster Mash鈥� and then go right back to Christmas music.
Now, it鈥檚 predictable that Carey鈥檚 fans are upset by the bar鈥檚 notice.
I, on the other hand, can totally sympathize with the bar鈥檚 decision, and it鈥檚 not because they promised me a free bottle of Lone Star Beer if I write a positive take on the issue.
First, I think it鈥檚 a good idea to say that I don鈥檛 hate the song at all. The song is fine. It鈥檚 not my favorite must-hear Christmas song like 鈥淪noopy鈥檚 First Christmas鈥� or the Twisted Sister cover of 鈥淥h Come All Ye Faithful,鈥� but it鈥檚 also not dated, annoying and preachy like 鈥淒o They Know it鈥檚 Christmas鈥� and 鈥淕randma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.鈥�
Actually, I think most Christmas songs are completely fine. The problem lies in the repetitiveness of the songs, especially when you listen to the radio.
Like I previously mentioned, many locations have that one radio station that plays nothing but Christmas songs 24/7, but when you realize there are way more, say, classic rock songs than Christmas songs, you tend to hear the same song a few times 鈥� sometimes in a row! If a song has been covered multiple times, chances are you hear a different version of the same song in the span of an hour 鈥� sometimes in a row!
For example, I like the song 鈥淛ingle Bell Rock鈥� the first seven times I hear it in a day. After that, it starts to grate on my soul until I loathe both jingle bells and rocks.
The song was first released in 1957 and has been covered nearly 300 times with nine covers this year alone because every singer has to release a Christmas album. Neil Diamond is Jewish and has five Christmas albums, two of which feature 鈥淛ingle Bell Rock.鈥�
If Neil Diamond weren鈥檛 Neil Diamond, I鈥檇 tell Neil Diamond a thing or two.
Anyway, I believe the Texas bar was totally justified in the jukebox notice as the bar鈥檚 employees and regular customers may actually lose the holiday spirit if that or any song is played several times over an hour.
I think the bar鈥檚 only mistake was singling out Mariah Carey鈥檚 song. They should have put that every song can only be played once a night and never in a row.
But, until that happens, if you鈥檙e ever in a Texas bar and find that 鈥淎ll I Want for Christmas鈥� has been played and is unavailable, rest assured there鈥檚 likely still 198 versions of 鈥淛ingle Bell Rock鈥� remaining.
According to Hofmann is written by staff reporter Mark Hofmann of Rostraver Township. His books, 鈥淕ood Mourning! A Guide to Biting the Big One 鈥� and Dying, Too鈥� and 鈥淪tupid Brain,鈥� are available on Amazon.com.