According to Hofmann: The pursuit of happiness in the airport terminal
One of my literature classes in college included of a study of fables, which are small, simple morality tales with animals often acting out metaphors of human behavior.
I remember that because my professor looked directly at me when he said 鈥渕orality鈥� and 鈥渁nimals鈥� like he was trying to tell me something. I mean, if he was all bent out of shape because I had a few beers prior to arriving to class and belched out my answers, he should have just let me sleep it off at my desk like I originally planned.
Anyway, I can鈥檛 remember if it was Aesop, LaFontaine or Richard Pryor who wrote the fable of two dogs 鈥� one wild and starving, and the other well-fed and domesticated.
In the fable, the two dogs meet, and the wild dog asks the domesticated dog about being well-fed, well-groomed and living a safe, warm and secure life. The other dog says the humans he stays with provide all of that and they鈥檒l do the same for the wild dog, too. The wild dog is all on board with the proposal until he notices the domesticated dog is tied up and asks why. The domesticated dog says the humans did that, too, because they don鈥檛 want him to leave, which causes the wild dog to reject the offer.
You see, the wild dog would rather be hungry, cold and free to roam and to do whatever he wants, than to be a well-fed prisoner.
Maybe I鈥檓 not remembering the last part right. In fact, I hadn鈥檛 thought about that fable until I recently came across a story about a man who has been living in an airport in China for 14 years to get away from his nagging family.
I have a feeling many married men reading this column have just nodded their heads and muttered, 鈥淚 heard that.鈥�
The man, Wei Jianguo, lost his job in his early 40s and then started drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes during the day, which is what people normally do when they鈥檙e depressed over losing a job (or attending college literature classes).
His family took issue with that and gave him an ultimatum: either stop the drinking and the smoking or leave the house.
Well, he made like a tree and did just that, moving into the Beijing Capital International Airport. Jianguo, now in his 60s and still unemployed, has continued to live there by using an electric cooker to make his own food in the airport terminals or buying food at airport restaurants, keeping his belongings in a couple of suitcases and living off his monthly government allowance to also purchase his alcohol and cigarettes.
It鈥檚 true what they say: not all heroes wear capes.
The article mentioned that he had returned home a few times over the years, but that was because the police or airport security dropped him off there. Jianguo just turned right around and went back to the airport.
If this all sounds familiar, it was the premise for the movie 鈥淭he Terminal鈥�, starring Tom Hanks as The Terminal, who鈥檚 a cyborg from another county sent to live in an airport terminal to kill the leader of the resistance due to a coup in his country.
Wait. Maybe I鈥檓 getting that movie mixed up with 鈥淭he Terminator.鈥� That happens to me a lot.
Either way, the difference between Mr. Jianguo Unchained and The Terminalator, is the fact that Jianguo doesn鈥檛 want to leave the airport and basically said he has found his happy place.
Now, you鈥檙e probably wondering if there鈥檚 a moral to this modern fable beyond my comparison to the fable of the two dogs.
My answer to that is a resounding, 鈥淪ure, I guess.鈥�
Jianguo鈥檚 family was never interviewed to tell their side of the story, and it鈥檚 unclear if Jianguo has some kind of mental illness or is perfectly sane and happy.
I think what I get from the story is that happiness is a very subjective thing. One man鈥檚 definition of happiness could be another man鈥檚 definition of insanity.
It also reminded me of another fable.
A rooster is pecking around for food and comes across a jewel. While the rooster knows the jewel to be valuable to someone else, it鈥檚 worthless to him. So the rooster discards the jewel and continues his search for food as well as cyborgs he needs to destroy or all of humanity is in danger of extinction.
I think that鈥檚 how it went, but that鈥檚 what happens when you have a couple of beers before class.
According to Hofmann is written by staff reporter Mark Hofmann of Rostraver Township. His books, 鈥淕ood Mourning! A Guide to Biting the Big One 鈥� and Dying, Too鈥� and 鈥淪tupid Brain,鈥� are available on Amazon.com.