Mt. Lebanon obituary writer pens book on telling your story
In his years writing obituaries about American entrepreneurs and captains of industry for The Wall Street Journal, James Hagerty has occasionally been surprised at how little some families know about their loved ones.
They don鈥檛 know what motivated a departed family member to achieve what they did. Going further back in their family history, they might even be completely in the dark about what their grandparents did for a living.
鈥淭hey may have some of the highlights of family history, but they don鈥檛 know some of the basics,鈥� said Hagerty, who is a Mt. Lebanon resident and goes by the first name Bob. 鈥淭o me, in an obituary, one of the most interesting things is, why and how did they do something. Why and how is more interesting to me.鈥�
Hagerty鈥檚 just-published book, 鈥淵ours Truly: An Obituary Writer鈥檚 Guide to Telling Your Story,鈥� offers tips on telling your own life story 鈥� and being honest about it 鈥� as well as getting the stories of loved ones while they are still here. Chapters cover such areas as interviewing yourself and others, creating an oral history, how and when to use humor and writing tips.
This is Hagerty鈥檚 second book, following 2012鈥檚, 鈥淭he Fateful History of Fannie Mae: New Deal Birth to Mortgage Crisis Fail.鈥� A graduate of the University of North Dakota, he has traveled around the world for The Wall Street Journal and the International Herald Tribune, working in bureaus in New York, London, Paris, Hong Kong, Atlanta and other locations. Hagerty moved to Mt. Lebanon when he joined the newspaper鈥檚 Pittsburgh bureau, and became The Wall Street Journal鈥檚 full-time obituary writer 鈥渟even years and a thousand obituaries ago,鈥� according to Hagerty.
鈥淚 had noticed living in London that obituaries could be interesting,鈥� Hagerty said. 鈥淭hey didn鈥檛 have to be dry and dreary, full of all the usual cliches.鈥�
Not only does Hagerty urge people to write down or record details of their own life story, but also to not dilly-dally and wait until you鈥檙e near the end of your life. Though you might think it would be natural to engage in some spin in recounting your life 鈥� do we really want to inflict the details of our memorable screw-ups on friends and loved ones? 鈥� Hagerty explained, 鈥淚 find people are usually pretty frank about having made mistakes.鈥�
He continued, 鈥淭hey explain what they learned from those mistakes and how they recovered from them. And I include that in the story. Sometimes family members are aghast, but the person wanted to explain why and what he thought about it. I want my kids and grandkids to know, this is how I feel I screwed up and what I learned from it.鈥�
In addition to leaving a record of your time on earth for future generations to study, recording your own story can be therapeutic, Hagerty said.
鈥淭here has been psychological research that people tend to feel better after writing about their lives,鈥� Hagerty said. 鈥淚 think it just has to do with resolving things in your mind 鈥� what happened and why. Maybe it takes some of the pain or blame or resentment out of it. There鈥檚 a psychological benefit.鈥�
One of Hagerty鈥檚 regrets is that he didn鈥檛 sit his own father down to have him tell his story. His father was also a reporter and 鈥淚 actually don鈥檛 know why my dad decided to become a journalist.鈥� He did talk to his mother when she was 79 and 鈥渟he was very forthcoming, had a good memory, and really liked talking about the old times. I wrote a long story about her life.鈥�
Hagerty will be at the Mt. Lebanon Public Library on Monday, Jan. 30, for two sessions, talking about his book and how people can tell their own stories. It will be in Meeting Room A at 2 and 7 p.m. More information is available at mtlebanonlibrary.org.
鈥淚t鈥檚 not as hard as it looks,鈥� Hagerty said.