Trump inspires summer festivities
President Donald Trump’s recent spate of executive orders has inspired me to plan a ‘huuuge’ summer extravaganza.
I included some cautionary suggestions though. Due to the elimination of FDA and USDA inspections, we won’t be having meat, eggs, dairy, fruit or vegetables. All guests are advised to wear air filter gas masks what with the increased “clean coal” emissions and all.
Since the EPA won’t be around to ensure clean water I’ve asked Trump to provide Perrier for everyone. I anticipate everyone to be packing heat (even the kiddos) so Kevlar vests are recommended.
It’s also a good idea not to make any disparaging remarks about Trump’s buddy Vladimir Putin. Lastly, here’s a suggestion to female guests. They should dress modestly so as to not provoke any problems.
Mark Livingood
Mill Run