Read this: It鈥檚 ‘classified!’
I used to enjoy a good political scandal.
Finding misplaced government documents doesn鈥檛 count.
Back when they found hundreds of classified documents down there at Mar-A-Lago, that was a nice, juicy, eye-rollable event worthy of a column or two.
But since President Biden and ex-vice president Mike Pence have both been caught with secret government papers in their homes, that doesn鈥檛 seem like much of a rare act of careless handling of the nation鈥檚 most precious secrets.
It appears to be commonplace.
Bah!
It would be so much more fun to try to make the finds at Biden鈥檚 home more innocent than the finds at Mar-A-Lago and Pence鈥檚 Indiana home. But why bother?
They鈥檙e all guilty of whatever it鈥檚 called when you mishandle classified documents.
Or, as Jesse Watters of Fox News says, 鈥淣ow we have to show both sides.鈥�
That鈥檚 quite an admission.
All I can do now is keep score.
Republicans 鈥� 2, Democrats 鈥� 1.
So far, the FBI hasn鈥檛 taken a look into Barack Obama鈥檚, Bill Clinton鈥檚, or Dick Cheney鈥檚 archives.
Any minute now, that score could be tied.
There鈥檚 no sense trying to twist yourself like a pretzel to defend your side while attacking the other side about these retrieved documents.
That is, unless, of course, you鈥檙e Ted Cruz.
Senator Cruz was on Fox Business News, being interviewed by Trump鈥檚 former economic adviser, Larry Kudlow, when he sounded the alarm about getting the FBI to ransack the home and business of Joe Biden鈥檚 son, Hunter.
Cruz wound up and he spouted, 鈥淚f these classified materials, in particular, implicate Burisma, Ukraine, Communist China, payments going to Hunter Biden or Joe Biden鈥檚 brother or the Biden family, then this shifts from a political problem to a very serious problem of criminal liability and major crimes.鈥�
That was a mouthful.
But there鈥檚 more.
Kudlow told Cruz they鈥檇 just found some documents at the Indiana home of Mike Pence.
You could then hear the screech of tires in Cruz鈥檚 throat.
鈥淗e鈥檚 explained where these came from, what his office has put out is that in packing up the vice presidential offices that there were a couple of papers that were classified that was inadvertently put with non-classified materials. That was a mistake, but there鈥檚 no reason to think this was anything but inadvertent. That is very different from what Joe Biden has done,鈥� Cruz said.
Some people are reflective. Others are not.
Cruz simply failed to reflect on how a president鈥檚 son, who hasn鈥檛 been accused of misplacing any documents, should be under an FBI investigation, while an ex-vice president, who freely admits he did something, should be given a pass.
That鈥檚 what makes Ted Cruz the master of false outrage.
While awaiting the revelation about the next batch of newly discovered classified documents, I鈥檝e decided to move onward.
Hey! Have you heard about ex-president Trump鈥檚 exciting golf adventure?
Well, it seems he won a golf tournament a week ago.
According to Mr. Trump, he was competing in a senior golf championship at his Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach, Florida, and he won it all.
He immediately posted the result on his social media platform, Truth Social.
鈥淎 great honor,鈥� he boasted. 鈥淐ompeted against many fine golfers and was hitting the ball long and straight. The reason that I announce this on fabulous TRUTH is that, in a very real way, it serves as a physical exam, only MUCH tougher,鈥� he concluded.
I found that to be an achievement. In lying.
Trump may have played a good round on one of the days of that two-day tournament. But he didn鈥檛 play on both days.
He鈥檇 given a eulogy at a funeral in North Carolina on Saturday. He only played in the tournament on Sunday.
In other words, there鈥檚 no way he could鈥檝e won that tournament.
According to famed sportswriter Rick Reilly, 鈥淕uy cheats like a 4-year-old at Monopoly.鈥�
Knowing Trump, the only piece of paper he doesn鈥檛 keep in his Mar-A-Lago office is his scorecard for that tournament.
Edward A. Owens is a multi-Emmy Award winner, former reporter, and anchor for Entertainment Tonight, and 50-year TV news and newspaper veteran. E-mail him at freedoms@bellatlantic.net.