Gauging my ability to be an Olympic athlete
I caught a short video someplace on the social media spectrum that showed how to respond when someone felt they could do whatever Olympic endeavor they were viewing at the time.
A fellow is sitting in his recliner, patiently waiting to respond, 鈥淣o, you couldn鈥檛.鈥�
With Olympic events pretty much on every hour of the day because of the 13-hour time difference with Tokyo, I, too, have been watching a variety of sports, some of which I only see every four years because the particular sport isn鈥檛 played in our little corner of the world.
So, as I鈥檝e been viewing the variety, being an armchair athlete myself, I wondered to myself about my ability to compete in the myriad of sports on the Olympic schedule.
I have decided to divide the sports into three categories: 1, 鈥淎in鈥檛 going to happen鈥�; 2, 鈥淚鈥檝e played that (just not very well)鈥�; and 3, 鈥淭hat looks like fun, maybe.鈥�
n So, time to explore 鈥淎in鈥檛 going to happen.鈥�
Any water sport, including water polo, any of the four strokes done in the pool, diving (springboard and platform), and white water canoe (slalom).
Let鈥檚 just say I鈥檓 not one with the water. If I was meant to be in the water, I鈥檇 be outfitted with gills and fins.
Platform diving has the double whammy of being way up in the air (acrophobia).
The 鈥渂oard鈥� sports of surfing (see water thing) and skateboarding. I can鈥檛 imagine the trips to the hospital moms and dads have taken as their kids (and they are high school kids, for the most part) improved their skills jumping on and off handrails, skating up a wall and then falling back to a landing on concrete, and skating down steps.
Gymnastics, because of gravity and lack of athletic ability. The bottom half of my body pulls on gravity far too much than the top half of my body (shoulders) can handle.
Boxing 鈥� why would I willingly allow myself to get beat up? Rugby, those folks are just plain nuts.聽
n 鈥淚鈥檝e played that (just not very well)鈥�
The checklist in this category includes baseball, tennis, basketball, golf, badminton, athletics (track & field), and cycling.
Now, age aside, my biggest roadblock with the aforementioned sports is lack of talent.
I thought 3脳3 basketball was interesting. I might be able to pull that off, somehow, especially if I was paired with three really good players. The shot clock makes for a fast-paced game.
Although, I鈥檇 like to see the referees ditched and players 鈥渃all their own,鈥� just like on the playground.
(For any of the young readers out there, 鈥減layground basketball,鈥� usually played in the summer on break from the school year, was played at a community recreational facility, outside in the elements, and without any interference of referees, parents or arbiters.)
I think 1x1x1 (up five players on half court, what we would call animal or mountain ball) would be very intriguing. The same rules in 3脳3 could be used. That might draw some older elite players out of retirement.
I might be able to pull off golf if a 鈥淒 level鈥� game was offered. But, I鈥檇 have to put in a lot of practice time to move into that level. Maybe, the Olympic committee will add 鈥済olf scramble鈥� to the list, then I can gather three really good players (like I generally do) and pull off my occasional putt or approach shot.
I鈥檝e been racewalking for a long time now, but I lack the ability to pull off what those fellows do. What their ankles do to maintain proper form and go really fast would destroy my joints.
Plus, 50K (almost 31 miles) or 20K (about 12陆 miles) is a long way to go to prove a point.
The 5K runners were sub-14. That means in a 12陆-lap race on the track, I would鈥檝e been lapped at least six times. Bad for the ego.
Badminton, reflexes not fast enough.
Cycling, now that might be a possibility, recent crash I had aside. Though, the road race covered 145 miles and had a couple huge climbs up Mount Fuji.
The climbs present a dual issue with my disdain for biking up substantial grades and the concern of flying back down the hill. Back when I was younger (i.e., not as wise), I used to ride around Fayette County and flew down Route 201 a time or two. Let鈥檚 just say if I was going scary fast.
I might be able to pull off the individual time trial, about 22K or just over 13 miles, especially on a flat course.
Riding a bike around the velodrome at top speeds would be adrenaline producing, but going that fast without brakes is a bit disconcerning.
(Remember the talk of Brownsville building a velodrome over a decade ago?)
n 鈥淭hat looks like fun, maybe.鈥�
The rowing events on still water. The chance of the vessel capsizing and me drowning is minimal, so I鈥檇 like to give it a shot.
Field hockey might be a possibility, but I鈥檇 need a longer stick. Making contact with the ball bent over would be tough to do over the course of the contest.
Perhaps the Olympic committee will consider street hockey, field hockey with longer sticks.
Team handball is under consideration, but I don鈥檛 have much hang time (see gravity issues) for those running shots outside the zone in front of the goalie.
I鈥檝e wanted to see how good I might be with a javelin if given the proper training and conditioning, so just maybe.
The 2022 Beijing Winter Olympics in February are only a few months away. I鈥檓 thinking the 鈥渁in鈥檛 going to happen鈥� list will be extensive for winter sports.