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According To Hofmann

According to Hofmann: Ode to Joy…of Painting

Don鈥檛 ask me why I was thinking of the late Bob Ross, the host of the PBS show 鈥淭he Joy of Painting鈥, before I started writing this column...much like you shouldn鈥檛 ask me why I giggle at inappropriate times. The answer would confuse and horrify you.Whenever I do think of him (once ...

According to Hofmann: Big-time small talk

I hate to admit it, but every now and then you have to talk to people.For many, many years, I鈥檝e attempted to avoid speaking to people through a slight shyness and a clinical loathing for humanity and hoped that I would eventually have a career where I didn鈥檛 have interaction with anyone, ...

All puppies are extremely cute whether it鈥檚 their look or their mannerisms. Everything about them is filled to the brim with adorableness.Well, I鈥檓 here to tell you to not be fooled. That鈥檚 by design. It鈥檚 a defense mechanism in their DNA, because if they weren鈥檛 so freaking cute, ...

According to Hofmann: Backhanded Politeness

In my countless travels to about four places, I found that people are very nice in some areas, and downright rude in others.I came to think about the ramifications of being either too polite or too horrible to one another as a society when I was ready to walk across the street in the path of a ...

According to Hofmann: My $13 million burger

A college professor of mine once told our class, 鈥淭here鈥檚 money out there for you to take.鈥滻t was such an awe-inspiring thing to hear, I actually stood up, gave a resounding 鈥淲hoo-hoo!鈥 and high-fived everyone as I made my way out of the lecture hall to chase after that said money, ...

Very rarely does a news story make me spit out water or coffee, but when I heard they were going to remake the original 鈥淗ome Alone,鈥 I didn鈥檛 have any water or coffee or even a glass of room-temperature Merlot to spit out, so I had to pull my car over to a nearby pond, slurp up its ...